[Officially called Spring Run for Fun @ Redmond Watershed Preserve, but that would make for a title that’s way too long.]

I’ve got a 50 mile race coming up in April, and I needed a dry-run race this weekend. Turns out, there was one that I could run to. I know I could run there, because I do it all of the time. The race took place at the Redmond Watershed, where I run to and around at least once a month. It’s anywhere from four to six miles from the house, depending on the route, and most of it on trails. Once I get there I can do kind of a figure-eight of trails through the preserve, and go home. So I know what I’m going to be running on.

The plan was to make it a logistical/support practice run for Katherine, and I’d treat the race as a training run (just a really long one). Besides, there are only awards for top three men and women overall, no age groups. Well, my old ass isn’t going to get a top three overall, so there’s no reason to even be tempted to make a race of it. Nope, do my four laps of the 6.55 mile course, call it a day and go home.

As Katherine and I stood around waiting for the start, someone pointed out that there were bear tracks in the snow by the portable toilets. Yeah, the bear’s out there in the woods somewhere, run fast. I will say that after over 20 years of farting around in the Redmond Watershed Preserve, I’ve seen a total of one bear. That was about 20 years ago, and I haven’t seen one since. No, it’s the owls you have to watch for.

The race course is mostly a loop, with a couple of out-and-backs. Doubling back provides the opportunity to keep an eye on one’s competitors, whether they are behind you or in front of you. Four laps of it means Katherine doesn’t have to really go anywhere to see me during the race, and having an aid station every three miles means it’s not the end of the world if I somehow miss her.

The start was as undramatic as trail races are: no one cramming to the start line, like a road race. Everybody just hung back five or ten feet from the white chalk line until the countdown ended and the race started. Off we went into the snowy woods, see ya in an hour. On the way back from the first turn around, I saw a woman in a puffy coat who wasn’t all that far behind me. Yeah, but a puffy coat. She wasn’t going to last long, I didn’t think.

Meanwhile, I’ve counted the number of men in front of me and my count says…two. Which means I’m currently on the podium with third. Well, shit, I guess I might have to race this. Seems like the closest competition behind me is the guy in black tights, then a couple of guys that look to be my age. It was early, though, so I thought it best to just see how it goes and make some decisions on the third lap.

I finished up the first lap with just a wave to Katherine, and let her know that I’d like to swap a bottle on the next lap. As I came around the turnaround cone, I saw Puffy Coat Girl ditch her coat. And if she’s near me, then she’s in first place as far as I can tell. As we headed out for the second lap, I figured if she’s going to dog my heels, might as well get introduced. “I wondered how long you were going to were that coat”, I said with a laugh. We got introduced, and Chanelle said she was racing her first trail race. “But you’ve done a road marathon, right?” And she had. I told her the story of the young man at the Deception Pass Marathon who was running with me who said that was his first marathon ever, hence my asking.

Chanelle said she was content to tuck in behind me, which was fine by me. After the half-way aid station, we got talking about something to do with wildlife, and I mentioned something about the bear I saw a long time ago. “There’s bears out here?”, she asked with a tone that told me she was seriously a bit worried about that bit of trivia. “Sure, but they don’t want anything to do with you. Remember, I’m up here all of the time, and I’ve seen a bear once in twenty years. It’s the aggressive owls you have to watch out for.”

Oh, yes, she laughed, just like you’re laughing now. “The what?”

“The aggressive owl. I’m running through the Watershed one weekend, and I see a guy walking toward me, with his hat in his hand. ‘Watch out for the aggressive owl’, he said. And just like you I said, ‘the what?’ And he proceeded to tell me how the owl took his hat. Well, okay, I’ll keep an eye out. And just a bit later, something whacks me in the back of the head. Nah, not the first time a squirrel has thrown a nut at me. But then I get whacked again, only this time it’s on both sides of my head. So I immediately checked for blood, didn’t see any, went on with my day. But, yeah, the aggressive owl.”

I also pointed out that coincidentally, that all happened on the very section of trail we were on at that very moment. This will be the opening story of my new anthology called Campfire Tales for Trail Runners.

End of lap two, I grabbed a fresh bottle from Katherine, looped around the cone, and back out. On the way out I saw Black Tights Guy, and it sure looked like he was closing the gap. But what’s this? 2nd place guy was a lot closer than he was earlier. I wasn’t going to get my hopes up, but maybe he was vulnerable. On the way back from the next turnaround, I didn’t see Black Tights Guy. Chanelle thought he was doing the half-marathon, the field for which started an hour later but eventually got mixed in with the marathoners. So I guessed that was one less threat to my podium finish. Best I could tell, it was two older men who were next in line.

Eventually, Chanelle and I were shutting that gap to 2nd Place Guy. We even got close enough that I was debating when to go for the pass. But he would pull away on the uphill. On the downhill into the start/finish area, Chanelle would leave me behind and pass 2nd Place Guy. All I could do was keep him in sight, but I was coming for him. But, man, was I starting to hate life. I had told Chanelle to go around me because I just wasn’t feeling it at the moment. But there was only one more lap, one more hour, and I had that much left. A fresh bottle from the long-suffering Katherine, a failed attempt at finding Little Hotties (despite what you might think, it’s safe to click that link) hand warmers in the new drop bag, and out the door I went for the fourth and final lap.

The first turnaround told me that 2nd Place Guy was coming back to me very soon. And shortly after getting onto the Siler’s Mill Trail, I went around him with authority. Well, that was the image in my head, anyway, with a little puff of dust from my heels. Reality, I am sure, was pathetically quite different. Nonetheless, I kept 3rd Place Guy (neé 2nd Place Guy) at bay until the next aid station. Before the next aid station, I saw Chanelle on the way back, as cheery as when the race started. I visited the halfway aid station for the first time to grab a banana, and away I went before 3rd Place Guy could catch me. Mmm, banana; just try not to choke on it. The peel went in the convenient pocket of my trail shorts. If Sasquatch can leave no trace, so can I.

With three miles to go, man, were my legs shot. It might have had something to do with the fact that I’ve not walked a step the whole race because there was never a hill worthy of the walk. Though the trails aren’t very technical (a little rocky in sections at the worst), it still took it out of my legs far more than a road race would. In fact…no, in forty-five years of racing, I’ve never had a leg cramp. I’ve known people that have had it happen, but never has it been a problem for me. Eat more bananas, people! Matter of fact, I just had a banana. So it couldn’t have been a leg cramp starting. Still…yeah, that’s exactly what it was, and wow, did it suck. I finally came to the last intersection, and the trail sign said that it was a merciful 0.8 miles to the parking lot, which was where the start/finish area was. For the next 0.8 miles, the routine consisted of:

• Hobble, hobble, bending left leg no more than necessary.
• “Ow, ow, ow”, stop and stretch while desperately looking behind for 3rd Place Guy.
• Repeat until finish line is in sight, then try to finish with some degree of dignity.

Finish I did, and with dignity to spare, in four hours and four minutes (4:04). Chanelle whipped my ass by a solid four minutes to take 2nd overall and 1st female. I took home a handsome 2nd place mug for my placing among the menfolk. Katherine gets my race award coffee mugs, and when asked how the coffee tasted in this one, she replied, “tastes like victory”.

I would also like to point out that I was the oldest man out there. Again, though, I was beaten by a woman in the overall standings. A 67 year old woman took that overall title.

Thanks to Katherine, who was as always a great support crew and makes this trail racing stuff easier. I’d thank sponsors if I had any, but 2nd place and $2.50 will get you a cup of coffee. I’ll bring my own mug.